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My family

I come from wacky people. Anyone who knows my family on more than a superficial level knows that it is, in fact, their fault I am the way I am. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. No, no, don't bother arguing, that's my story.

My immediate family lives in Miami, and consists of my mother, Joan and my two older brothers, Mark and Matt. My father, Larry Parets, passed away in 1997. Mark is married to a very tolerant woman named Beth, who is just about the best sister-in-law any human being could hope for. He has two twenty-ish children named Mark Ryan and Elizabeth (they consider me "cool", which makes me feel not so old. LOL). Matt married an awesome person, too. Sara is the latest person to take the Parets name (and by "latest", I mean "over a year ago."). Matt got smart and married her before I was reduced to beating him with a stick. Rounding out our little brood is Tina Cook, who I call my psuedo neice. She's not related to us by blood, but she is a Parets as far as we are concerned.

Joan Parets

Look at her. Does this woman look anything short of silly?

My mother is not right. She won't readily admit it. No, she'll giggle and shake her head, feigning awe at the silliness of her children. But where did we pick up this silliness? Sure, exposure to Monty Python at the age of 6 (Dad loved British comedy) probably contributed, but our mother is silly. She was born Joan Francis Caddigan on December 23, 1932 in Chicago, IL. She is the youngest of 7 - and if you want to know the truth, the other 6 are pretty silly too.

Mom is part Irish (I'm sure the name fooled you), and part English. Her mother, Anna Wilson, was born and raised just outside of Liverpool, England. She moved to Chicago with her family where she met my grandfather, Joseph Caddigan. I didn't know my grandparents, they passed away before I was born. From the looks of their children, however, I can only suspect they were silly.

Mark Parets

Mark and Beth

My oldest brother is Mark Lawrence Parets (our parents were really creative with our middle names). Mark just turned 45 this past July (HA HA HA HA HA). Mark is a walking example of why parents should never say to their children, "I hope you grow up and have kids that are just like you." Why? Because Mark has two kids that are just like him.

I love the way the universe works. (Beth might argue with me about this.)

Mark is a teacher and lacrosse coach. You would think, "Wow, a teacher, I bet he's great with kids!" I suppose that's true, but he was not great with his little sister who he tortured with lovely games such as "Roll Linda up in the mattress and jump on it". I hated that game. It's okay, I made up for it by "borrowing" his t-shirts and always returning them dirty. When I bothered to return them. I mean, come on, he had three quarter sleeve Journey t-shirts. They were hela-kewl.

Matt Parets

Matt, in one of his more normal moments.

Matthew Lawrence Parets (please note creative middle name) is the middle child. Born two years before me and six after Mark, Matt had the lovely distinction of being the middle child. I don't know how much of his being the middle child contributed to his wearing a mullet well into the year 2001, but I suppose it somehow figured into it. Tee hee. You'll be happy to know Matt is 100% mullet-free now (so you can stop sending in donations to the "Matt Parets Hair Fund").

I kid because I love.

Matt is most silly. He collects toys, and not so they can sit in plastic packaging gathering dust. Matt collects toys so he can play with them. I admire that - although not enough to take my Beatles dolls out of their packaging. Matt is a Volkswagon Bug fanatic, as you can see by visiting his website. Matt's great - and he's forgiven me for seeing Douglas Adams without him back in 1994.

More Coming! (HA HA HA! I wrote this five years ago, and I still haven't added)